Here is the video clip that I showed today at MOPS. May you feel encouraged, significant and excited to be a part of helping shape the story of your family.

It's May. How did that happen? Wasn't it just January?

I've been thinking a bit about how fast life goes lately. In some ways it can feel slow and cyclical. Lately though, I have felt a sense of awe at how quickly a childhood passes by. 

Zoe and Henry were in Kindergarten when I was Henry's nanny as I finished up college. I picked him up from school each day and walked back to his charming house off Ventura Blvd in Studio City. The neighborhood was beautiful and Henry was curious, brilliant, and interesting to care for. We'd collect rocks that he was sure were as precious as diamonds, and he'd daily negotiate with me whether the planned activities like karate or t-ball were able to be side-lined for a play date with one of his friends. Zoe and Henry had play dates together and we'd play at the park, pick pumpkins at the pumpkin patch, and one day we even went fishing at Troutdale. They were so cute and funny; there was always a good story to tell after almost every day as Henry's nanny. Now Henry is starting High School. It seems in the years that felt rather quick to me, Henry has grown up. He's tall and plays guitar, and even wears skinny jeans. 

Today I saw Zoe, and she's beautiful, fun, and had her girlfriends over hanging out in her room. She starts High School next year too, and it's just so strange to remember so vividly taking her to the park to play on the swings. I had the privilege of bringing her to church for the first time, and watching her family come to know God. Over the years, I got to take her to winter camp at Forest Home at the same time I took the kids from the churches I worked at. We'd have special conversations in the car, and she had a deep understanding of God and great questions about how it all works. Today I was very aware that she's getting older. I know I need to spend some time and take her to dinner so I can hear about the things that are now on her heart if she chooses to share. 

As I drove home from some errands today, my sweet Allyson sent me a message through Facebook to tell me that she was getting ready for prom today. I called right away when I heard the news and headed to their house to see this all taking place: the dress, the makeup, the hair, the anticipation. Allyson is my cousin's daughter and I spent a lot of my early twenties over at their house tutoring Ally, taking her to ice cream, and even having adventures around town and making waffles in our PJs on my birthday one year. I remember when she was born, and also having her little body cuddle up to mine on her couch as we read Junie B. Jones and I helped her sound out words. Janice (her mom, my cousin) would invite me to have dinner with them, and we'd watch Survivor and tell stories about our lives. Somehow, life has changed and in the midst of these years Allyson grew up. There have been divorces and weddings, heartache and joy, and here she is...about to turn 18 next month, dressed in a stunning turquoise blue prom dress ready for her date to pick her up. 

As I drove away, the meloncholy feelings of nostalgia and curiosity set in, wondering how things seem to move so fast and all the same stretch out and seem to take a while to happen too. It makes me wonder about my own childhood. It seemed to me while it was happening to take a while, and yet now I realize that there were men and women around me at my graduation from high school that said "I remember when she was born" and to them, it didn't feel all that long ago. 

I think that the thing I'm most aware of is that if these moments pass by so quickly, they're all the more important. A person's childhood is of so much importance in how the rest of the years seem to go that I find a renewed commitment to bring beauty to the childhoods that are taking place all around me. I want to be a person who reads stories, gives hugs, and reflects and cherishes the unique souls that are coming forth all around us. There is great opportunity to create something beautiful if we can allow children to feel loved, protected, and cherished. 

I slipped away from the crowd at my cousin's house tonight, and gave Ally a hug. I told her she looked absolutely stunning and to soak in every minute of this special night. I let her know that if she felt uncomfortable at any point, to call, and I'd be there. There were about 6 people around who agreed that they too would be there for her in a flash given any sort of "smoke signal" phone call or text message. 

You see, when I look in her eyes, I still see that little girl that sat on the couch with me a few years ago, and I know that she probably wonders like I did when I was going to prom how it all went so fast.  Because inside, I know that even though Henry, Zoe, and Allyson look and act like young adults, they were just recently letting me read stories to them after school. 

Maybe it's just me, but I bet we all feel like this sometimes, when it's quiet and we feel vulnerable and young. Even though our bodies tell a story of several years piled up, inside there is a child who remembers playing on the swings and reading stories before bed. The world moves so fast, and it's beautiful to get to live it moment by moment as if we know it's going to pass.

There was a sadness in the church parking lot as I left work today. Dressed in black, they came carrying beautiful flowers and wearing large sunglasses. I knew the feeling they were all walking around with because I too have walked these roads. Funerals. Holiday Funerals, even more startling. 

This funeral was happening because of a super tragic thing happened in a Malibu neighborhood last week to what I hear was a very kind man. Someone was driving by and didn't see him bending to pick up his dog in the street, and he was killed by her car. I hate these stories. I think they're awful. I think it's extra awful at Christmastime. My heart grieves for all who are sad because of this loss and this shocking tragedy. 

Having lived through a few sorrowful Christmas seasons, I understand though that christmas isn't about an artificial happiness. The Christmas spirit is really is living with the Holy Spirit. The depth of beauty of what happened for us in Bethlehem is the very thing that makes these startling and heart-breaking stories end not in chaos, but in beauty. It's a difficult thing to say since we aren't yet always experiencing the redemptive part of such painful loss,  but it is something I hope we will all come to understand.

It's these sadnesses that remind me of why we need Jesus so much. We need a redeemer to this often sad and tragic world. We can generally be so insulated from a widespread understanding of our need. I am aware that I am rich, and that because of the drinking water that is purified about 6 times before I drink it, that I don't at all understand the plight of so many who are dying of thirst tonight. These are our brothers and sisters. These people know why we need a Savior. I try to keep a global perspective in mind as I whine about not having some extravagant luxury. 

I sat by a poor family tonight in the mall food court. I could tell they were poor by the way they dressed and shared one meal between the 4 of them. I don't need to describe them more, you're just going to have to take my word for it. I wondered at what they felt obligated to buy at the mall tonight. Would all of their extra money go towards buying trinkets for others who may or may not realize the hard work that went into trying to scrape together a few bucks to buy a little something?  I know that the data is clear that the poor are charging up credit cards they will never earn enough to pay off. The kind of stress that this causes a family and marriages makes me so sad. 

I suppose like many before me, I could blame the individual for poor discernment and flippant spending. I am less prone to this kind of judgement, and more prone to a cultural judgement. What are we doing? What have we created? What I see is a vast and wide spiritual sickness that has given birth to an ugly virus of materialism. The envy we feel towards each other, sinful. I admit fully to my participation in our cultural brokenness. I ask your forgiveness...and am grateful for the grace of Jesus' birth, life and death for all the ways I'll never measure up to a perfect and unaffected part of this mess. 

The thing is, for all that bothers me about our economy, so much of it is built around a dependance on this spending at christmas time. I don't know how we come clean of this...I'm not sure we ever will. I just know that we need Jesus. We need a redeemer to enter into our mess, and love us anyway.

KV

Are you on Twitter? 

As we head into the summer months, I'm excited for all the ways we get to enjoy the outdoors and how blessed we are to live in a place that is truly the iconic summer destination. I am reading a book right now called "Last Child in the Woods" which I find insightful and affirming to many things that I already believe and create our children's ministry based on. I believe firmly that kids are longing not for more technology, but for the real and authentic things that are in life: cooking, art, nature walks, playing games. The list could go on and on. I am a technology-lover, this to be known and sure, but I do think that all things need balance and kids aren't as hungry for another cool TV show as they are to find relationships with adults who care about them and delight in them. 

Dear Friends,

 

I wanted to give you an update on our little Love Kidus. He is still smiling filled with his great spirit he has about him and the will to overcome. He is now able to move his toes and knees and swing his hips.

He can crawl, he can stand while holding on to something and can use the toilet. This is extraordinary progress and your prayers are working. Today is Mother's day and on behalf of his Mother Kidist my gift to her is seeking your daily prayers for Kidus to keep progressing further - to be given the strength to walk... to run! Kidus and his Mom are now staying at Mending Kids Int. home -Robin's Nest a beautiful place for a parent and child to stay while here for medical treatment.

He is having open heart surgery June 16. Please prepare him into this difficult surgery with prayer. As we are filled with gratitude to have had the opportunity to care for Kidus and see the miracle of God's work in him - we continue to ask for more prayer over him (& his family). He is truly God's light, and may his recovery be HIS GLORY. I look forward to sharing Kidus' journey with you all. Thanks for being a part of it.

It is not over...

 

God Bless,

NiColle Holland

& Family

Dear Friends and Family,

Some of you may have already heard the great news, but I wanted to be sure you all had heard.  Ryder had his appointment at UCLA and the doctor was very pleased that his echocardiogram had improved from the last one.  This was great news in that he continued to gain weight and grow without things progressively worsening and in fact improving.  So for now we will just have to watch things every few months and monitor as he continues to grow over the next year and in the years to come.  Again, we thank you for your prayers and praise God that Ryder is doing so well.  We treasure your kinds words and thoughts and have felt very supported and at peace through this time.  We continue to revel in the joy a new life brings.  We will continue to keep you abreast of any changes.  Love you to all, Monica

Dear friends,

Great news! Candace just emailed this morning to say that Quinn passed his swallow test yesterday!!! This is great news!

He is able to swallow both solid food and liquids and they will soon be able to take the tube out of his belly for good once they're sure he's getting all the nutrients he needs orally.

What an amazing answer to prayer! Candace wanted to share this great news with all of you. The pictures above were some Candace sent: One is of a trip to the Santa Barbara Aquarium and the other is of Casey and Quinn playing together on the swings. Wow! These pictures bring me so much joy!

Let's keep praying daily for his full recovery and development. What an exciting miracle to witness!

Much love,

Kristie

Monica and Jeff Bjork sent me this email and asked that I post it here so that you can be praying for their son Ryder. Please join me in prayer for this sweet boy's heart. Ryder is just 3 months old.

Dear Friends and Family,

Thank you to so many of you for your recent prayers for Ryder.  For those who don't know the details, Ryder was born with a bicuspid aortic valve.  At birth, it was diagnosed after the pediatrician heard a heart murmur.  It is the most common heart anomaly, but in Ryder's case it also has caused a narrowing, so the blood flow through the valve is under pressure.   At birth and two weeks old, the narrowing was measured by echocardiogram at the low end of mild, but last week we saw the cardiologist and it had gone up into the moderate range.  We will be seeing an interventional cardiologist at UCLA children's hospital April 16th.  If things continue to progressively worsen Ryder would be a good candidate for a balloon angioplasty to alleviate the narrowed aortic valve.  It would be done under anesthesia, but he would go home the same day.  The good news is Ryder is doing great..  He's growing and gaining weight and his heart is not showing any signs of distress and is otherwise very healthy.  He's eating a ton, smiling, and just a great baby.  And, if his narrowing stays in the moderate range they would just watch things closely, and he would not have any activity restrictions and would have a normal life span.

Of course, as you can imagine, this is all a bit scary to think about, especially since he is so little.  Jeff and I both are holding on to the truth that Ryder is truly in the hands of a gracious and all powerful God who loves him beyond what we can imagine.  We are hopeful in praying things will stay the same or be completely healed..  We know "the prayers of many availith much."  We are taking one appointment at a time, and trying as best we can to lay our anxieties in the hands of the Lord.  We so appreciate your support and prayers over the next year as we walk this journey.  I will keep you all posted as time goes.

Many blessings and lot of love,
Monica and Jeff

Dear friends,

Here is an email from Candace with the latest update on Quinn. For those of you that don't know, they were home with Quinn for several weeks. Now, they are currently at the Miller Children's Hospital in Long Beach doing inpatient rehabilitation. Candace gets to stay there with him.

Attached are very cute pictures of Quinn enjoying his speech therapy. What a beautiful miracle we have witnessed!  Let's continue to pray for Quinn and the Kelly's. :)

Kristie


Here is the email from Candace:

Quinn is doing so well at Miller's.  The nurses and therapists are so nice, and they all adore Quinn.  Quinn is giving it his all in his different therapies.  Physical, occupational, speech, and recreational. 

I'm doing really well here, too.  I've adjusted to the living situation here of a shared bathroom, shower across the hall, coffee two flights down, etc.  It's just so great to see Quinn doing so well, and I'm loving it. 

Please forward this email on, if you'd like.  I'm on Patrick's laptop, and I don't have my email address book on this computer.  There are so many people I'd like to send this to, but I don't have their email addresses! 

Love to you all, and our boy is coming back strong!  Love, Candace

Kidus came to live with the Holland family by way of Mending Kids Int. He comes to us from Ethiopia and has a very serious heart condition. Last week, after a procedure was done with a heart catheter the piece that was put in place didn't stay in place, but floated out and blocked the femoral artery causing blood flow to be mostly blocked. In a rare occurrence the blood flow to the veins that feed oxygen to spinal cord were blocked off at the same time. This lack of oxygen caused Kidus to lose use of his legs, the great fear was that this would be permanent damage.

The good news is that he is in fact a good candidate for the heart surgery they were hoping to perform. So, our hope is that he will get his heart mended as well as able to go home with function of his legs. this will be only by a miracle because the expectation is that he won't walk. We need to continue to pray. Rachel sent this email and it is looking like there is hope...where there wasn't a few days ago! Yea!

Let's join together and pray for total healing! Here is the email Rachel sent:

    I wish you all could have just heard NiColle's voice on the phone-she is bubbling over with praise and thanksgiving. she wants to encourage everyone to keep praying as God is doing a powerful work in sweet Kidus. please forgive me as I try it explain what is happening in common English with no medical understanding.

    Yesterday they did an electrical test from his feet to his head-and the impulse ran all the way up-the man giving the test was almost in tears as he told Nic "congratulations" this is very very good news- this means that there is no detachment of the nerves.  The doctors are saying they are very optimistic for a large recovery! This will be a journey to recovery but everyone is very hopeful. The other amazing part is that God keeps sending angels to the room-from the Ethiopian security guard to translate to the beautiful nurse from Ethiopia who has given NiColle her home number for any questions-the Lord is guiding and watching over Kidus's care!

    Please continue to pray and praise God for His awesome healing power!

    NiColle would like to get this word out to have the community pray, please forward this to other friends and prayer warriors

I just saw this...

A friend of mine, Hugo Schwyzer, who I originally met at Pasadena City College as my History Professor, has written a wonderful blog post reflecting on the birth of his new daughter. Hugo has an honest and thoughtful blog where he expresses his many thoughts, opinions, musings and leanings openly. 

This morning, I changed my daughter's diaper just after 4:00AM. She was in a happy mood, making her little noises of contentment (she had just been at the breast). After she was freshly attired, I scooped her back up into my arms. Until this morning, it had taken her newborn eyes a few seconds to find me -- when first picked up, her gaze would wander before gradually settling on the adult who held her. My girl found me instantly, and looked up at her papa with what seemed like open-mouthed wonder, and, what I would like to hope, was love. I melted, of course, and teared up with the intensity of loving this little eight-pound bundle of perfection. But even at that moment, four hours or so ago, I knew that she was not mine forever. I love her more than I thought it possible to love anything; she and her mother are at the center of my emotional universe. But I am only with her for a little while (a few happy decades please) on this earth. This morning there was just a "me" and a "her" in perfect happy unity. But in a few short years, she'll be off to school, to camp, to college, to other countries and other commitments and other's embraces. My job is to give her a foundation of devotion so strong so that wherever she goes, however she does her task of Tikkun Olam, however and with whomever she finds delight, she remembers that at the very beginning -- and at the very end -- there is love, there is love, there is love. That she will know that is my most fervent prayer today.

If you haven't already heard...the Kelly's brought Quinn home this past Saturday. They are doing well and happy to be back under one roof. More details to come once Candace has time to write! Thank you for your continued interest in praying and keeping up with this wonderful family.

Dear friends, Here is a letter from Patrick...the latest update on Quinn:

Hopefully this will be the last update I send to you penned from Mattel Children's Hospital in Brentwood, California.  Quinn underwent procedure to place a Percutaneous Endoscopic Gastrostomy (a PEG) - essentially a feeding tube that sticks out of his abdomen. Quinn's brain insult and/or subsequent surgery caused him to lose his ability to swallow.  And if you can't swallow, you can't eat.  Up until now Quinn has had a nasal gastric tube stuck in his nose and down into his stomach - food and medicine has been pumped into this.  But an NG tube is not a longer-term option - too many risks, so decided to place PEG. 

 

I've attached two photos of our intrepid hero - first is shot of Quinn awaiting surgery, the second afterwards.  You'll note in first shot, upper right corner, long black device - this an endoscope.  Anesthesiologists knocked Quinn out then put him on ventilator (again....). GI surgeons then put the endoscope down his throat and into his stomach. At the end of the scope is light, along with camera and tiny robotic arm. Surgeons found suitable location for tube placement (no organs between stomach and skin), turned the light on, looked for the light glowing through the skin, and used this spot to punch needle through into his stomach.  The robotic arm grabbed the needle, which was attached to a wire, and the needle was then pulled up through the endoscope and out of Quinn's mouth.  Doctor removed needle and attached wire to PEG tube, then pulled the wire back down the scope and out of the hole in his stomach.  A little catch was inflated and now my young boy has tube hanging out of his abdomen, anchored inside his stomach.  Absolutely fascinating.  I asked to remain in the OR so I could watch the procedure - both anesthesiologists and both surgeons said 'no' at the same time.  I was shown to the waiting room (like I didn't know where it was after 1 month of residency...).

 

Feeding is essentially the last obstacle we have to face before taking Quinn home from the hospital.  From neurosurgical standpoint, the wounds on his head have healed and his brain has regained ability to control pressures, so their job nearly complete; from oncologist standpoint Quinn is cancer free (at least for the next 4 months) and hence will not require chemotherapy; from neurological standpoint, the poor boy not as far along as these doctors would have hoped but he is improving each day and this the absolute right direction; from vascular standpoint, the clot in his femoral artery no longer an issue; and finally, from gastroenterological standpoint, he will now be able to eat.  He now needs to regain cognitive skills, reflex & motion, and his ability to swallow - and all of these handled outside this hospital's walls.  If all goes well, Quinn could be released tomorrow night!

 

Will be pure joy to have Quinn at home.  Casey & Maxine want their little brother back, and Momma & Poppa want to see each other more than 25 minutes a day.  Quinn will require some special equipment - bed, chairs, etc. - until he recovers.  But fear not - Candace all over it:  "Does that Stryder hospital recliner come in chestnut? "  Do not be surprised if Elle Decor, in 6 months, runs big spread on new decorative style sweeping the West Coast:  "Malibu Medical." (how DO they get those light bulbs in the IV bags???)

 

Again and again and again, thank you all for your support - the cards, the balloons, the flowers, the food, and most importantly, the prayers.  There have been many great surprises that have come from this hardship, but the greatest has been the love and support offered by our friends and family.  This will be impossible for me to ever forget.  Please keep Quinn in your prayers - he still has long road ahead of him.   But he will be home soon and I feel this is a milestone we can all celebrate.

 

With much love,

Patrick

Dear friends,

Quinn progress continues to be steady.  Here is the update in Candace's words. I cut a portion from an email she sent:

Dear friends,

 

We continue to pray for Quinn as he is on the road to recovery.

 

More good news in that Quinn had another CT scan yesterday.  It came back with very good results as his ventricles are absorbing all the brain fluids correctly.  The neurosurgeons wanted to confirm that a shunt will not be needed.  And it is confirmed that a shunt will not be needed.  Wonderful. 

 

Quinn's swallow test with the barium paste is today.  They will watch his function with an x-ray video machine.  Let's pray that his swallowing is getting stronger.

 

The social worker had a woman come in with a dog, a Boston terrier mix, and it was a delight for Quinn! He smiled big and enjoyed the whole thing.  Candace says that she looks forward to another visit from Penelope the dog. :)

 

I guess in the list of things we have prayed for, we really need to be praying for Quinn's motor skills to return. The doctors are saying it's one of those unknowns with any trauma to the brain, so let's pray that as the swelling continues to go down, and his little body rests that little by little he will get those functions back.

 

If you have missed any of the previous emails, especially from the beginning of this process, we just reset the blog to go back as far as the earliest posts on Jan 2nd when this whole journey began.  Www.malibupres.org/children/blog

 

Candace and Patrick are doing well taking turns at the hospital and also proving stability to Casey and Maxine. Their room has a beautiful view of the hills of Westwood, and there is a lot of light that comes through the window. To watch them move through this is to watch 2 people who are strong, graceful, human, and loving be exactly that. Please also continue to pray for their family as they juggle many things and schedules. They have a second wave of family members here to help, which they are very grateful for. :)

 

They are grateful for your support through cards, meals, offers of play dates, and hospital visits.

 

Have a beautiful day!

Dear friends,

Here are some pictures that Candace sent me to share with you. These document so beautifully the vibrant spirit that Quinn is...and the journey he's taken. I'm sure, like me, you will feel the emotion and love of this story in pictures. I hope you will also see the beauty of our prayers being answered...picture by picture... 

Candace was sweet to email me and let me know the whole scoop on what we're praying for...I was confused too as the day before I thought he was eating enough...so here's a more detailed understanding:

There is one small correction to this email....as far as Quinn's feeding tube goes, he is tolerating his food (liquid Pediasure with fiber) quite well.  He is at the maximum amount for his body weight and it is all being absorbed into his digestive system.  The feeding tube right now goes through his nose into his stomach.  If Quinn does not get his swallow reflex back in the next few days, the doctor will take the feeding tube out of his nose, and put it directly into his stomach through a little hole is his abdomen.  This is more of a long term way for Quinn to receive his Pediasure.  

I obviously do not want this for Quinn as I can not wait to give him a bottle for the first time.  And I'm quite sure he misses his chocolate ice cream, his favorite.!  I am praying for Quinn's swallow reflex to come back soon!

Thanks for praying! Looking forward to a chocolate ice cream party in the future with Quinn!

KV

Dear friends,

I just got to spend some time seeing Quinn in his new hospital room. His incision is healing well and it was exciting to see all of the progress he is making.

He looks so great. It was fun to see him move and respond to Candace as she walked in the room.

Candace and Patrick are grateful for your prayers and love.

They ask that you continue to pray for a strengthening in his swallowing, coughing, and breathing abilities and that he will be able to clear his lungs.

We also need to pray that he eats enough food so they won't have to put a food tube in their stomach.

And of course, let's keep praying for his brain to heal completely.

I stood their looking at his wonderful blond hair and his smile come as Candace held him and played peek-a-boo.

I silently thanked God for this living, breathing, answer to our prayers...Quinn. I pray that each day is filled with more mending and healing of his body and that God continues to give Candace, Patrick, Maxine, Kasey, Deanna and the whole family the strength to walk each step of the road ahead. They are doing it with so much love and grace, authenticity and humility. It is a pleasure to get to pray with all of you and share this journey with the Kelly's. God can most certainly be trusted. This is what I know.

Have a wonderful weekend!


Sincerely,


Kristie

I have a habit of writing things down in random word files and then saving them to obscure places on my hard drive. Someday I'll really use the several folders I've created titled "kristie's writing" or "writing"  But for now, I am accepting that I can happen upon these files and they can be a fun surprise. :) This one I wrote a few months ago, late Oct, and it speaks to community, trial, joy, living well...and I think that is some of what we're experiencing through this journey we're walking with the Kelly's and other families in our church...and maybe there are secret sadnesses and fears that you haven't said out loud to us yet...and I want you to know...that this is a great community to do that with. You are safe. I have seen it...and I trust it.

Here is what I found today in a random word doc file:

        From the time I was about 4 years old until I was 11, my grandparents on my dad's side were on the decline.  My grandpa had about a zillion strokes and brushes with cancer, and my grandma was blind and caring for him. They lived in a cute house in Burbank just about 4 miles from our home, and so it became our custom to bring dinner over. We did this about once a week. My mom would cook a full meal for all 6 of us (my mom, dad, brother, grandma, grandpa and I) and then take it over to their house. We would sit together at their table and spend time together and share in life.

          My grandpa, a brilliant man who loved writing poetry and reading philosophy books, had been paralyzed on his left side by a few of the strokes. He could speak out of the right side of his mouth, but it was always slurred and slow, difficult to understand.

          I remember watching my family feed him, and wipe his face when the food would slide down his chin. My mom and dad always pointed out to me how joyful he was, even though his situation was rather unfortunate. He lived this way for 7 years. Through one side of his mouth he would write beautiful poetry and my grandma would write it down, even though she was legally blind.  They would reminise and tell stories of all the times they traveled to national parks and to their favorite island of Hawaii. My dad would go and get them a Christmas tree each year, and my aunt would balance their checkbook.

            I would go over to play when my mom had something she needed to do, and my grandma would take my brother and I on nature walks around the neighborhood to collect acorns and seadpods which had fallen from the tree. One time we came home and strung all of the acorns together and made a necklace.  In those years we dyed easter eggs, made holiday cookies and sat on the swing in the backyard drinking fresh lemonade. This deep life we lived, despite the broken way things were, was so beautiful I wish you could have been there to see it.

            I think back on it, and I suppose that we could've really just dropped dinner off. We could have left what they needed and gone back to our house where it was easier to eat dinner and have a conversation. Instead we lived life together. We walked into hospital rooms together, and threw birthday parties and anniversaries around hospital beds and dinner tables. We prayed together and thanked God for all of our blessings.

            I suppose God could've just dropped Jesus off for 33 years, taken care of business, and then gone back to the comfort of His perfect place, but he hasn't. He's chosen to live life with us, by His Spirit in our midst.  He lived life on earth, to know what the human condition feels like and so now he knows how hard it can be. He gets us. I love that about Him. It's the amazing paradox of a God who knows the whole story...yet still will live it with us. He is so tender in the way he desires to walk the road with us, and not merely leave us the tools to do it, and then walk away. It makes for a deeper and richer life.

            When I look back on the last year of my life, I think of all the moments along the journey that have been so rich. The relationships with the people I've been able to walk the road with, have been transforming.  I have seen God move in a way that has developed a deeper trust, that no other circumstance could have taught me.

            The church burned down one year ago this Sunday. It's been difficult. I won't say it's been easy. I've been pushed and pressed and stressed in the most intense ways. We as a community have tried to choose joy and to consider it joy in this trial. In many ways, I've seen Malibu Pres "choose life" and as a church people we have said "yes" to this journey. When many have walked away, we have grown in depth and care for each other.

            It's been good, and I think that deep life is about saying "yes" to walking well through life's trials. It's in walking the road that you get to see all the beauty, the ease of the other option is shallow and less than what God calls us into...life to the full.